Title: Where Did All the Villages Go? Why So Many Moms Are Feeling Alone—and How We Can Change That

I've heard stories where there was a time when motherhood was loud with laughter and quiet with support. A time when women helped raise each other’s babies without hesitation. When you didn’t have to wonder if asking for help made you look weak—it was just understood that we all needed one another to survive and to stay sane.

The casseroles showed up unasked. The toddler was scooped off the sidewalk before they darted into the road—by someone else’s mom. You could borrow sugar and emotional backup in the same visit. You didn’t need to perform. You didn’t need to apologize for the mess.

But somewhere along the way, that village must have disappeared.

Now, too many of us are mothering in isolation. Alone with our thoughts, our routines, our exhaustion. We’re told to be strong, independent, that we can or should “have it all,” and that we should smile while doing it. But quietly, deep in the background, we’re all wondering: Wasn’t someone supposed to be doing this with me?

The Slow Disappearance of the Village

The unraveling didn’t happen overnight. It was slow. Subtle. Cultural.

First came the shift toward independence—praised as strength. Then the rise of schedules too full to breathe. Then a pandemic that forced everyone inside, alone. And all the while, the pressure to be perfect increased: Pinterest-worthy birthdays, spotless homes, self-care that looks more like performance than rest.

We went from “it takes a village” to “don’t ask for help, just figure it out between ballet drop-off and that Zoom meeting where you pretend you’re not in pajama pants.”

Where there was once a tight-knit web of shared parenting, now there are solo ships navigating their own storms. And most of us are silently Googling “how to make adult friends when you’re over 30 and constantly tired.”

Loneliness in the Age of Constant Communication

Ironically, we’re the most digitally connected generation of moms to ever exist—and yet so many of us have never felt more alone.

We scroll through highlight reels while sitting in a dark room with a baby that won’t sleep or a child we don’t know how to help, wondering how everyone else is making it look so effortless.

Meanwhile, we’re over here reheating the same breakfast our toddler hasn't eaten yet for the fourth time and trying to remember if we actually brushed our teeth or just thought about brushing our teeth.

The pressure to perform is crushing. Be present but productive. Be natural but Pinterest-level polished. Be gentle but firm. Selfless but still "your own person." Ask for help, but not too much. Be grateful always, even when you’re breaking.

And we are breaking. Quietly. Privately. Alone.

The Relentless Pace of Motherhood: There’s No Time Left for Friendship

Somewhere between the job, the school drop-offs, the grocery list, and the thirty unanswered texts, something sacred got lost: time for friendship.

The average weekday looks like a marathon with no water stations. Wake up before dawn, prep lunches, find a missing shoe, hustle to work or juggle the mental load of running a household, shuffle kids to school, then race through meetings or errands while mentally planning dinner.

After school, it’s practices, recitals, dentist appointments, quick dinners, homework struggles, bath time battles, and finally collapsing into the couch—a.k.a. the place where dreams and laundry go to die.

And if by some miracle you do make plans with a friend? One of you will definitely cancel due to a fever, a forgotten appointment, or a spontaneous child-related meltdown involving yogurt. It’s science.

Even when we do try, it feels impossible. But deep down, we know—we need our people.

Let’s Talk About Mom Cliques: The New Playground Politics

Here’s something no one really warns you about: the playground isn’t just for kids. It’s for moms too—and it can feel just as awkward and cliquey as high school ever did.

You spot them: the moms who seem to have it all together. Matching iced coffees. Coordinated workout gear. Inside jokes. You, meanwhile, are just trying to keep your kid from eating mulch. You smile, but no one waves back.

And suddenly, you’re 14 again, wondering where you’re supposed to sit.

You consider just making friends with the squirrel that’s watching your kid drop snacks with disturbing frequency. At least he’s consistent.

Mom cliques are real. Sometimes they form naturally, other times they feel exclusive. But either way, the effect is the same: feeling like there’s a club you’re not part of.

It’s Not Your Fault. It’s Not Their Fault Either.

Most moms aren’t trying to be exclusive. They’re not being cold. They’re just trying to survive.

We’re dodging tantrums, deadlines, burnout, and brain fog. That mom who didn’t wave? Maybe she was deep in her own thoughts. That friend who hasn’t texted back? Maybe she read your message while wiping a nose or calming a meltdown—and then forgot in the blur of bedtime.

Let’s be honest: we’re all one unexpected “Mom! I need help wiping!” or "Mom! You're ruining my life!" away from emotional collapse.

It’s not neglect. It’s not rejection. It’s just the chaos we’re all trying to navigate.

So instead of assuming we’re being excluded, let’s assume we’re all overwhelmed. And let’s offer each other the grace to be messy, distracted, and imperfect—because we’re all doing the best we can with what little time and energy we have left.

So, What Do We Do Now?

We stop assuming we’re alone in this.

We stop assuming that silence means someone doesn’t care. We stop believing that everyone else has it figured out while we’re barely hanging on. And instead, we start from a place of grace—for others and for ourselves.

We remember that most moms are just trying to stay afloat. That the cliques? They’re usually made of women clinging to familiarity, not shutting others out. That the distance we feel isn’t because we’re not wanted—but because no one has the energy to reach out. Yet.

So let’s be the ones who go first.

Let’s text each other, even if it’s been too long. Let’s invite someone over, even if the house is a wreck. Let’s say, “I miss you,” or “Can we sit in the chaos together?”

Let’s rebuild the village—not the idealized version, but a real one. Raw. Forgiving. Soft around the edges. Where no one has to perform. Where showing up is enough.

And if your kid is sticky and your floors are questionable, even better—because that’s the real village vibe anyway.

Because behind every tired smile is a mom craving connection. Behind every full calendar is a woman hoping someone sees her. And behind every closed door is someone wondering if it’s okay to knock again.

It is. Knock anyway.

Need a Place to Start? Try These Mom Communities

🌐 Online Communities for Moms

• The MomCo – Virtual support groups and mom meetups.

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) – 50+ free online support groups.

• Peanut App – Connect with nearby moms and make new friends.

• Parents Helping Parents – Virtual and local support for moms navigating tough moments.

• Mammha – Free virtual support for pregnant and postpartum women.

🏡 Local Resources (Example: South Dakota)

• South Dakota Parent Connection – Resources for families with kids of all abilities.

• Helpline Center Parent Support Groups – Emotional and practical support for parents.

• Brookings Area Mom Squad (Facebook) – Local mom-to-mom connection space.

• MOMS Club® of Rapid City – Local community-building for stay-at-home and part-time working moms.

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🏡 Local Resources in South Dakota

1. South Dakota Parent Connection Provides information on family life, healthcare, and support activities, especially beneficial for parents raising children with disabilities or special health care needs. South Dakota Parent Connection

2. MOMS Club® of Rapid City A local chapter offering support for mothers through playgroups, activities, and community service projects, catering to moms at all stages of motherhood. momsclubrapidcity.com

3. Bright Start Program Designed to assist first-time expectant moms in focusing on their health and well-being to ensure healthier pregnancies and babies. Children's Home Society of South Dakota

4. Helpline Center – Parent Support Groups Offers assistance to parents dealing with various challenges, including pregnancy, child-rearing, and life's difficulties, providing emotional and practical support. Dakota At Home | Search+1Helpline Center+1

5. Brookings Area Mom Squad (Facebook Group) A community-driven group aiming to bring moms together to share their daily lives, victories, frustrations, and everything in between. Log in or sign up to view

📺 Media Highlight

"The Motherhood" – Hallmark Series A new unscripted series hosted by Connie Britton, focusing on supporting and celebrating single mothers by fostering a sense of community. Each episode features a different single mom receiving guidance from experts in parenting, home design, and fashion. The Daily Beast

💬 Your Turn

If this resonated with you, share it with a fellow mom who might be feeling the same way.Then—be bold. Send the text. Make the call. Start rebuilding your village, one small connection at a time.

We weren’t meant to do this alone—and we don’t have to.